April 11, 2008
"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it ," --Buddy Hackett.
The other day I watched someone order liver and onions in a restaurant, and instantly I remembered why I hated it as a child.
It was the smell.
No, on second thought, it was the taste. In fact, I still remember what it tastes like some 50 years later--shoe leather with a pungent, strong flavor that makes chicken gizzards seem like child's play.
Thus, I have to ask, "Does anyone eat liver and onions anymore?"
No, do not answer; just cut me some slack as I explain.
Liver and onions, as baby boomers recall, was a required monthly staple in most households. We ate it, or were forced to eat it for its iron. If one felt anemic or weak, grandma said eat liver.
However, eating this natural iron supplement also involves the inescapable idea of consuming an organ that has the primary responsibility of filtering out the body's impurities. Shudder.
Now, I will get letters.
There is one more thing I should mention about liver. In elementary schools in the 50's and 60's, it was not uncommon for teachers to make children sit for hours in the lunchroom until they choked down the liver.
Can you imagine that today? Everyone would be on the 6 'clock news.
But I digress; consider the case of sweet Cindy B. versus the teacher who made her sit until 2 p.m. until she ate every bite of her liver and onions. Cindy was a bit shy and could only sit and cry as she shook her pretty head no at the teacher.
Finally, one day after this continued far too long, my sister felt sorry for her and said, "Cindy, next time here is what you do. Drink your milk, cut the liver into tiny pieces, pretend to eat it, and when the teacher isn't looking stuff the liver in your milk carton."
My sister joked that she could have a life of crime in her future for even thinking up such a scheme as a second-grader.
I said no; I thought the plan brilliant.
However, dear reader if you absolutely insist on reverting to our grandparents' day to replicate a family-favorite liver dish, I will offer the following recipe from memory.
Coat the calves' liver in flour, sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper, and fry (in a cast iron skillet) with sliced onions until golden brown in bacon fat or butter.
One can soak the liver in milk to eliminate the funky taste, drown it in catsup, coat it in crumbs and chicken-fry it, or cover it with gravy.
Or not.
I am not agreeing, you understand, but I am all ears. Send your liver-and-onion stories and recipes to kayhoflander@yahoo.com, and we will see.
